Alas, I've Transfigured My Feet
by Admorrila
Summary: A Swordfight - A Plot - True Love - A Play....What could be better? (Ron/Hermione)
1. A Plot

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter characters and any of the other quotes from any other books by J.K Rowling such as "Quidditch Through The Ages", ect  
  
Alas, I've Trasfigured My Feet  
  
Grenouille: I cannot go with you to the market today, Crapaud.  
  
Crapaud: But Grenouille, I cannot carry the cow alone.  
  
Grenouille: You know, Crapaud, that I am the keeper this morning. Who will stop the Quaffle if I do not?  
  
These famous and well know lines are from a French play: "Helas, Je me suis Transfigure Les Pieds" or "Alas, I've Trasfigured My Feet." But very few people know more then those few lines and the title. I admit, I don't even know as much as I'd like to. But that was all about to change.  
  
Our fifth year Histroy of Magic Class. That's where it all started. I was just taking notes on the Griphook Foundation of 1794, when all the sudden Professor Binns tells us that he has an annoucment to make.  
  
"Students, I must say that I am very impressed with your work this first quarter. Who knew that this bunch of fifth years could be especially interesting in the Noorhook Commentary of 1812 and the Borndore Tradgedy of 1934?"  
  
The only reason we're doing so well is because of the threat the Professor McGonagall gave us. She said that if we couldn't handle listening to a teacher talk about educational learnings then we might as well leave.  
  
Which pretty much means, "If you don't pay attention, I'm giving you detention for as long as I hold the power too."  
  
He continued on, "So I have decided to reward the fifth years with something that will be fun AND educational!"  
  
A groan.  
  
"No, no, now. Don't you groan just yet. With premission of Professor Dumbledore, we will be preforming the play 'Helas, Je me suis Transfigure Les Pieds' or 'Alas, I've Transfigured My Feet'."  
  
Some more groans, but not as many as before. Some of the girls where giggling madly. Parvati got up the nerve to raise her hand and ask, "Professor Binns, is there any - any romance in the story?"  
  
Another fit of mad giggles.  
  
"Why yes, there is. Quinella, Jacques sister, the man of whom has transfigured feet, falls in love with North, Jacques best friend. North is madly in love with Quinella and holds the answer to Jacques transfigured feet, and the only way North will preform the countercurse to cure Jacques transfigured feet is if Quinella marries him."  
  
Erupted more giggles, and they were already talking about who was going to be Quinella and North.  
  
After Arithmacy, I met up with Harry and Ron to go to lunch.  
  
"So, what did you think about that 'feet' thing in History of Magic?"  
  
I shook my head. I wasn't sure whether I should be amused or worried. "Well," I said, "It sounds like it would be fun. I mean - to see who would be North and Quinella, and also to find out where they moved that cow...?"  
  
"What?" Ron said.  
  
"Nevermind," Hermione said. "I'm thinking about trying out for a couple of parts myself. What about you, Ron?"  
  
"I dunno," said Ron, "Seems rather off to me. I mean, really? 'Alas, I've Trasfigured My Feet'?"  
  
"Ron, it was made in the 15th century, I'm sure that transfigured feet were quite a problem back then. So Harry, what do you think?"  
  
"I think I might try out for North."  
  
"North?! Why?!"  
  
"Well, it's not like I'll MAKE it or anything," he said, "It's just, people like Lavendar Brown and Hannah Abbott keep asking me between classes. I'll just try out and do a really bad job to get them off my back."  
  
"Oh, c'mon Harry! Who knows? We could get someone really good to play Quinella, and then I bet you'll be sorry, eh?"  
  
"Yeah, that true..."  
  
"Listen, you two," I interupted, "Just because you get to KISS some girl doesn't mean that - "  
  
"Wait a second, wait a second...you get to KISS them too?! Harry, c'mon. You should really."  
  
"I dunno..."  
  
I had had enough. "You two! Honestly! Did you know that in the end Quinella ends up KILLING North?"  
  
They shut up then.  
  
"That's RIGHT. After she uses him to get the countercurse, she stabbs him on their honeymoon."  
  
"Well...why?" Ron asked.  
  
"Why? Well, because she felt she had been manipulated and couldn't bare to be with someone like that. I agree with her wholeheartedly."  
  
"Uh-huh. Yeah. I could just see you, Hermione. Standing over a guy with a knife, screaming: 'HOW DARE YOU SPILL MILK ON MY ARITHMACY BOOK!'"  
  
Harry and Ron laughed. I didn't really find it amusing.  
  
"You know, I could do that," I said. "I've read enough books about it. Better watch your back Ron. Better not spill any milk on my Arithmacy book."  
  
He actually looked a bit scared. I rolled my eyes.  
We put the play out of our minds until we saw a pin up on the common room bulliten board for try-outs. The paper said:  
  
TRY OUTS FOR "ALAS, I'VE TRASFIGURED MY FEET" TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL  
  
2:30 - 6:30 PM IN THE HISTORY OF MAGIC CLASSROOM TOMORROW - 5TH YEARS ONLY, PLEASE.  
  
Then it listed all the parts we would be able to try out for.  
  
Suddenly, someone grabbed my arm and rushed me up to my dormitory. It took my a second to discover who it was.  
  
"GINNY?"  
  
"Listen, I'm sorry Hermione. But there's something Parvati and I need to do."  
  
"What? What do you mean?"  
  
"Listen...I know you've had a crush on Ron...?"  
  
"What? What do you mean?"  
  
"What do you mean 'What do I mean?' Parvati told me."  
  
"Parvati?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Suddenly. Parvati emerged from the shadows carrying a bright blue book. My Journal!  
  
"Parvati! No! You didn't!"  
  
"You know," Parvati sighed, looking at the journal somberly, "You should really get a magic journal. Muggle ones are terribly easy to open."  
  
I barley had time to say anything when she pulled and her wand and muttered, "Alohamora."  
  
The diary flew open.  
  
"Dear Journal..."  
  
"No Parvati, don't you dare!"  
  
"I think I may be feeling something for Ron. I couldn't really though, could I? I mean, honestly, he's such an idiot, but..."  
  
"Parvati, please!" Hermione begged, "Don't, please - "  
  
"He's so charming and witty, and he does the nicest things without even thinking about it - "  
  
"I swear to all that is good and decent, if you don't give me that book I will hex you into next week!" I screamed. No, this couldn't be happening, I thought. They couldn't be doing this. Not Ginny. How could she be in cahoots with a witch like Parvati?  
  
I try to reach for my wand but Ginny had already taken it from my pocket. She looked at me unhappily. "Hermione, I'm so, so sorry - "  
  
"Then give me back my wand!"  
  
"I can't!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because I only want what's best for you and Ron."  
  
She handed my wand to Parvati. I felt like crying. And I also felt like slapping both of them, but Ginny had my hands behind my back.  
  
"Listen, Hermione," Parvati said, pacing a circle around me. I glared at her, as though daring her to come any closer. "I'm only looking out for you. I only want you and Ron to be together. I mean, you two are like the perfect couple. It's fate."  
  
I swear, if all feeling wouldn't have lost me I wouldn't have needed her with my wand. I would have killed her with my bare hands.  
  
"But you two are so....how can I put this nicely? Stubborn. Yes, that's the word. You two are so stubborn that you won't relize your feelings for each other."  
  
"Feelings. Right. Feelings. And obviously, you don't know what that word IS!" I yelled. I tried to get away from Ginny, but it was no use.  
  
"Tsk, tsk, Hermione. Don't be such a spoil sport. Now, you know me, and I know you. We can keep this clean and simple. You get the part with Quinella, and I'll make sure Ron get's the part of North. I'll make sure you two fall in love like a romance novel."  
  
"Oh, gee, thanks. I'm sure glad you did this to me, because, you know what, I get to fall in love with my best friend because YOU said so," I said this in a very sarcastic, angry way.  
  
"Oh, thank you." She smiled. "I knew you'd see it my way."  
  
Ginny was about to notify her about my remark but decided against it. Parvati smiled and folded her hands.  
  
"Hermione, listen. Your a really good friend of mine. You've helped me so many times, I just want to help you."  
  
"Right," I said. "But what if I don't make the part of Quinella. What if I don't try out?"  
  
"I'll make sure that you do." She paused. "And if you don't try out, I'll tell everyone about what's in your diary."  
  
The both left, walking down the staircase that led to the Gryffindor Common Room.  
  
Now what was I going to do?  
  
Ron and Harry sensed something was wrong that night. Ron asked me to play chess and let me win, and Harry asked me how everything was going with Arithmacy. They were both kind to me, but that really didn't cheer me up. I knew I had to talk to someone. But I couldn't talk to Ron. I mean...this was all about me and him romanticly. I knew things would start to get akward, so I decided to talk to Harry. Ron was playing chess with Dean, so I decided to talk to him then.  
  
"Harry?" I said, "Do you have a minute?"  
  
"Sure, Hermione. What's up?"  
  
"Wanna take a walk?"  
  
"Sure." He didn't ask any questions. He could detect the sadness in my voice.  
  
It was still about 5:00 yet, so we both went outside. It was the time when tree's change, when it's beautiful at Hogwarts. But I was so distraught I barely noticed.  
  
"So what's up, Hermione?"  
  
I sighed, and tried to explain what happened with my Journal and Parvati and Ginny. In the end, he looked stunned. "Ginny?" he said. "Why would she mess around with someone like Parvati?"  
  
"I dunno..." I said. "But, Harry! I don't know what to do!" I was close to tears. "I mean, what if their serious? What if - what if they really do tell everybody about everything I said in my journal?"  
  
"Hermione," he looked at me, "I'm going to fix this for you. I promise."  
  
"I don't need you to - "  
  
"I know. But what are friends for, Hermione?"  
  
I smiled. 


	2. Tryouts

A/N: Guess everyone thought I forgot about this story, DIDN'T they??? Well...for the fact that I haven't posted a new chapter in about two months....yeah, I guess. Lol. Theres a person...uh...I forget what their name was....who kindof copied my idea for a play. I was a little angry, to say the least. The ONE idea I come up with on my own and someone has to STEAL it. Oh well....I guess it means that it's good? I could have made this chapter longer...but...well....I didn't feel like it. Okay, on with chapter 2!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The next day, (which happened to be my birthday, I might add) I was just getting out of Aritmacy when Ron came up to me and asked me a very strange question.  
  
"Hey, 'Mione, are you going to try out for Quinella?"  
  
"No...what would make you ask that?"  
  
"Because everyones saying that you are."  
  
"Oh...well, that's a lie."  
  
"Oh..."  
  
He looked a little uneasy, as though he was barfing up slugs again, like in our second year.  
  
"Ron!" I yelled as he dashed to the restroom.  
  
Harry came up to me as I watched Ron run. He looked bewildered. "What's the matter with him?" he asked.  
  
"I dunno..." I said. I looked back to Ron's retreating back pensively.  
  
As we hurried down the stairs for lunch, Harry asked me, "So...I thought you weren't trying out for Quinella?"  
  
"Who keeps saying that?!" I shouted so loud that Harry jumped backwards. "Well...I just heard it around...that's all...."  
  
"Heard it around, did you?" I said bitterly. "I see..."  
  
"Hermione, don't get worked up about it. I'm sure it's just one of Ginny or Parvati's friends, trying to get back at you for what I did."  
  
"I know..." I sighed. "But Harry, why did you have to embarrass them so?"  
  
"Hermione, they deserved everything they got," he said matter-of-factly. "They TRIED to embarrass you even more then I embarrassed them!"  
  
"I know...but..."  
  
"But nothing!" he said, sounding a little too much like me.  
  
We didn't see Ron at lunch, or dinner either. Tryouts were tomorrow, and I was feeling a little uneasy. SHOULD I try out for something? Harry was, of course, trying out for the part of North, and I did NOT want to end up kissing one of my best friends. Should I just try out for the part of Quinella, do a bad job, and then something small so I was sure to get a least a role, but not too small of a role, so if Harry got the part of North I would be able to give him a pep talk before one of his be preformaces?  
  
My head kept going on and on about what to do....what should I do, anyway? I decided that I WOULD try out for the part of Quinella and do a really bad job, just to make Ron feel better. Maybe it was me not trying out for the part of Quinella that had something to do with his sickness. Or maybe not.  
  
The next day, Harry and I went to tryouts, where I told him I would indeed be trying out for the part of Quinella, and what I intented to do. Harry told me that Ron had already tried out, but when I asked Harry for what part, he said he didn't know.  
  
When we entered the History of Magic class, I was given a few lines to recite from the play. I stood in line waiting with the other want-to-be Quinella.  
  
"Well," I heard Hannah Abbott say proudly. "My grandfather, although he's a wizard, was also in theatre. He tought me a few things, and was also friends with this muggle who knew a lot about plays and things...what was his name? William something?" She went on and on about her grandfather, and, how before he died, he also had helped write this play also. After that I knew she was just showboating.  
  
"Granger, Hermione!" I heard Professor Binn's pipe after what seemed to be ages.  
  
I hurriedly rushed to the front, almost tripping over my own feet in my hurry, and began to recite my lines:  
  
"Dear...er....Noth...North? Yes. Please....please except my...my....graditude...for...for....er....not....oh, um, I mean, for making this gracious offer of healing my...my....um...."  
  
"Okay, thank you Miss Granger, now could you recite your lines for your other part, Guienevere, please?" he said, as though he could not bare to hear me speak any longer.  
  
"Yes, sir," I said, quickly flipping through the play script. I then came to my lines, circled in black ink, and began to read.  
  
"Oh, dear, Jontisign! You do not me that we are without the blooder? What shall we do? But keep this...this thing that you have made for us? What do you call it....a bludger?"  
  
"Yes...yes....brilliant Miss Granger! Wonderful! With such beautiful fluency and feeling! Bravo!" he clapped. "The parts will be posted at 5:00 sharp, but I don't think we'll have to wonder, now, will we?" and he winked at me and had me leave.  
  
"Well, how'd you do?" Harry asked as we left to go back to the common room. I smiled. "Perfect!" I said. "I was horrible at Quinella...but, oh well, I have a guaranteed part an Guienevere..."  
  
"Tha'ts great Hermione..." he said absently, "C'mon, let's go kill some time while we wait, eh?"  
  
"Yeah," I replied. 


End file.
